The 12 Days of Self-Care: T’is the season to be silly?
I wrote a version of this article four years ago after I had been off work for a while following what turned out to be a fairly big, albeit planned, operation. Taking time away from my business and being much more reliant on others for help, physically, emotionally and financially, even for a short time, was a very new and challenging experience, as it often is if you are someone who is used to being independent and self-sufficient.
When I first started to contemplate what was ahead of me it felt very overwhelming. It was the first time I had experienced something that so physically stopped me in my tracks. My body simply wouldn’t let me push on through or rush my recovery in ways I had done in the past. I had to be patient and not do many of the things that I was used to doing for myself and that would normally help me find balance. I had to surrender to stopping and give my body the time it needed to heal.
I came to realise that it was an opportunity for me to consider different ways that I care for myself on a deeper level. It is easy to feel that you are letting others down if you become ill or need help. You may feel you have failed in some way because you’re not in fact invincible and there can be a sense of deep shame in this. It can make you feel very vulnerable and exposed to rejection if you need to ask for help. This can mean you may not ask for the help you need and end up compromising your own health and healing. There can be conflict between what your mind thinks you should do, alongside real or imagined pressure from others, and what your precious body needs from you.
This time of year, during the festive season, can be a time when self-care drops even further down the priority list. Alongside my surgery, the idea for this article was also prompted by a conversation I had with my good friend and teacher, Chyna Honey, (author of Understanding Reiki: From Self Care to Energy Medicine). I had wanted to find a way to share some of the things I had been thinking about and learning in a presentation I was due to give at a forthcoming business women’s networking group, (Women on Wednesdays in Salisbury).
My Clinical Psychology training, way back when, discouraged practitioners from sharing anything about their own experience but it was becoming increasingly important to me to try to be as authentic as I can be in my work. This is something I have endeavoured to build upon and continue over the last four years. There is no point recommending that my clients drink more water to keep themselves adequately hydrated, for example, if this isn’t something I am striving to do for myself.
Together, Chyna and I came up with the idea of, (rather than The 12 Days of Christmas), The 12 Days of Self-Care and I once again share the essence of this with you here.
Before you read through the next section you might want to grab a pen and a piece of paper...